Why am I up at 2:45am?!?  I should finally go to bed, but I’ve had ALOT on my mind lately.  Most of more properly belongs in the spiritual blog also.

That’s actually part of what THIS post is about though.  My posts here have been more personal blog and self growth than writing blog lately.  Granted, I’ve been able to tie it into writing to a degree…  I can’t help but wonder though if maybe THAT is where my true passion lays.  It’s probably just all the crazy recent events, and my trying to put them in perspective that have me writing that way.

Be that as it may, I’m going to be trying yet again to get my proper writing going again, both erotica and mainstream fiction.  I’m also going to try to keep this blog more focused on writing related topics.

Some of the rambling has been helpful though.  Random side rant; I REALLY use the word “though” too much, LOL.  Anyway, a few of the posts and some recent events have made me realize just what a trigger that people trying to deny others their voice is for me.  I’ve been dealing with it my entire life with my family, and most of my jobs.  It’s still happening to this day with my mom.  My brother craps all over me, and I’m supposed to just forget it.

Anyway, I realized that’s an influencer for me with things like political and social issue connected hate.  The level it’s hitting out there is insane.  So many examples, but there’s been enough bitching in recent blog posts.   I just want to grab people, and shake them until they get through their heads they’re making the problems worse by responding with hate and refusal to listen.

So yeah…  Personal challenge while I regroup here, LOL


LOL.  It’s been a crazy last 48 hours.  The last 4 of which I just spent catching up on thee 114 email notifications I had from WordPress AND writing another spiritual blog post.  More there in a minute.

The funeral went reasonably well.  The priest was mush mouthed and didn’t seem to know the rituals.  Maybe it’s a Catholic thing.  I think everything has to be exactly by the book.  Anyway, short but good ceremony there.  A little bit of unspoken conflict back at my parents’ (well, mom’s now) house afterwards, but I’ll spare folks the personal drama.

Realizing how short life can be, along with the more positive experiences on twitter and here have made me more determined to get focused with my writing and a few other resolutions.  Not fanatical midlife crisis level or anything, but it all snapped things back into focus.


The spiritual blog post and trigger warning joke above are about the need for people in general, and Empaths specifically to have reasonable boundaries, and how some people use false compassion and guilt tripping to tell others they have no right to said boundaries.  It was inspired by post in a followed blog about how “walls don’t work”.  The spiritual blog post should have made clear that I do NOT lump the author of that post in said guilt tripper category.  They just genuinely don’t believe walls work.  The post DID remind me of all the hateful things I’ve seen on the subject by other people though, and how many times I’ve been guilt tripped and manipulated for trying to have boundaries..

So, with that in mind, and wanting to discuss the idea that boundaries of any type are bad, I wrote that post.  If you’re interested, take a look.  If you’re the type that’s easily offended by anything other than far left views, consider this a trigger warning and avoid it.

False Compassion

The simple premise is that we all need boundaries and walls.  People need occasional quiet time, writers need to be able to focus on their work, etc…  Walls DO have to have gates to let the good in though, and the only truly evil wall is the one designed to keep people from exiting (ie the Berlin Wall).

Upcoming Stuff

Those of you following the blog got the email about my last post with details of my planned first serious novel.  If you’re wondering where it went, my “Cassandra Sense” was SCREAMING “take it down”.

My intuition is VERY good at sensing bad events, and it rarely screams that loud, so I took it down to prevent possible plot theft.  Suffice it to say I have a story about a young woman who finds out her mother is an Olympian and gets caught in the middle of an ancient prophecy and a plot by Hades to overthrow Zeus.

Other non-erotica fiction I have in mind is:

A story focused on the end of Lemuria

A story set in Ancient Egypt centered around a royal couple’s life.  This is set in the far ancient past, before Egypt was even to the point of the Old Kingdom and it was united into upper and lower kingdoms.  Lots of Paranormal stuff, and the main villain group will be rogue elements of the Temple of Thoth.  I could probably break this into a trilogy if I tried…

An “autobiography” of Cassandra from Greek mythology.

The story of a French noble family’s master at arms who gets exiled after a favored daughter is killed as a result of her own recklessness.  He goes on to find shelter with the Knights Templar, helping a handful of them escape with the Holy Grail from the infamous Friday the 13th massacre

Fixing A Train Wreck, LOL

My last post seemed to confuse people, so I’m going to try this in a little more straight forward way without as much parable to distract or confuse.

The point of that now deleted post was that I often wonder if we as authors let the extreme elements of society have too much influence over our voices as authors.  The topic was inspired by a discussion with ComixFana over future plans for our respective stories.  That’s all that was going on there, LOL.

I see stories like the Star Wars prequels that were so heavily laden with political commentary, or about a half a dozen TV shows I could name that try to force certain social beliefs down our throats…  I wonder if that’s robbing the voice of authors that do want to write characters with more moderate views…  That they worry they have to tailor their characters to certain expectations or their writing won’t be accepted.  I know that’s certainly the case on Twitter.

My failed point to the original post was that if you want your character to have more mainstream beliefs, you should go for it.  It’s OK to have a feminist that’s married with kids.  It’s how she defines herself, not a piece of paper that makes her a feminist.  If you want to keep her single and independent, or in something like a live in arrangement or common law marriage, that’s cool too.  Just have your own reasons for your character’s actions and personality.  Don’t let others take your voice.

Fun And Games?

I’m going to be hitting a few posts today it seems.  I originally did all the topics as one long post.  It felt rambling and disjointed, so 3 or 4 separate posts it is.

The common thread to all of them is that all of the recent events have me thinking about my direction as a writer.  To get to the point of THIS post, part of the what I was pondering was…


Not quite, LOL.  It was that despite all the drama there, Twitter did have some really good writing drills shared as games among the community there.  Seems there’s a little of that going on in the blogs here as well.

The Twitter stuff was all some variation of “write something about this picture or subject”. Great for being concise and expressive, given the allowed lengths of tweets. I never really got into them during my couple of months though.

A) I wasn’t part of the cool kids club, and these things generally require a “tag in”.

B) I’m what they call a “turtle writer” on twitter. I can come up with a great story, but not on the fly usually.

That’s part of what these games are for though; to get you used to letting the creative energies flowing freely. If you don’t practice, you don’t improve. Since I also need content here for when I’m NOT posting an actual story OR news of my internationally acclaimed best sellers (some day, LOL), I think I’m going to make a best effort to do a VSS thing here.

For those NOT familiar with it, VSS is “Very Short Story”. I had to google it when I first saw it on twitter. If I recall, the definition was something under 400 words. I just tried Google again, and all it gave me for search results was Volume Shadow Backup Services for backing up hard drives. Yeah Google is great… NOT.

So, yeah… Rambling… AGAIN. No wonder I think I need exercises in creative conciseness, LOL. On twitter, the ideal SEEMS to be keep your VSS to one tweet. A real challenge. I’m not sure where my VSS posts’ lengths will fall, OR how often I’ll do them at first, BUT training is a good thing, and I legitimately want to grow as a writer. As I get better, I hope to have one a day up to keep in practice and draw people to the Blog.

Maybe those of you who do writing blogs also would be interested in getting in on this?  IF we did it as a group drill / friendly competition, I’m thinking once a week, and say 200 words?  That gives the Turtles and busy people time.




I’m in a better mood today.  Time away from the toxic wasteland that is Twitter has helped that.  The Vindication I feel from all the replies I got here helped put everything in perspective.  Yesterday crushed the blog’s best views stat by 20% and daily likes by 50%.  And that previous best day was when I begged twitter to look at the blog to help me break a former record.  I picked up 4 new followers also

Views are great, but it’s the comments and likes that really made my day.  I’m resilient and bounce back pretty quickly.  It’s a survival trait combined with pure redhead stubbornness.  That said, it always helps to know people empathize or outright agree with you when you’re at a low spot.

I know I’m growing as a person too.  My usual response to getting shut down on something in the past has been “screw it, it’s not worth the drama” and walk away.  This time I’m determined to prove them wrong.  I know I’m a good writer.  It’s easy to hide behind “haters going to hate”, but I’ve had past enemies admit to others that they destroyed my writing out of jealousy.  Am I Hemingway, or James Patterson?  Hell no, LOL.  There are areas of my writing that need serious work.  On the other hand I’m great with plot and character development.  I also have a solid grasp on grammar and how to structure a sentence.  When I have a better mastery of things like show, don’t tell, avoiding white room syndrome and a couple other things, I KNOW I’ll be successful.

For those following the blog here; Thank You.  It means alot to know people find me worth reading.  I do my best to follow back people and comment or at least like posts also.  The major exception being if you’re a prolific writer and are posting several times a day.  I just don’t have the time to keep up with everything then.  As it is, I’m averaging 2 hours a day on the blog and related emails.  It’s worth it though.  You’re all real people to me and I value your support


About Done With Twitter

I think my time experimenting with Twitter as a networking and marketing platform to build my brand as an author is coming to an end.  I like the superficial support of the Writers Community there, BUT superficial is the key word.  Yeah, I’m going to be burning some bridges here, but the people I’ll alienate are already shutting me out anyway.  So what the hell.  Where are the problems?

First, there’s Twitter’s policy on adult content to begin with.  It’s virtually non-existent and very helter-skelter.  With the laws about adult material getting crazier and crazier, I don’t feel safe posting anything adult there.  Hell, it bothers me greatly that WordPress doesn’t have an adult filter thing that will at least put up a “are you over 18?” button before entering a blog.  That’s a side rant however.  Point is, I can see an eventual backlash against it like happened with Tumblr.  Tumblr isn’t evil, it just didn’t want to deal with all the crap that sites like Craigslist, Backpage and several others have.  In an age of lawyers & lawsuits, it’s easier to just go zero tolerance.

The irony to all of this is that my goal isn’t even to be an erotica author.  I want and plan to branch out into other genres.  I’m good with Sci-Fi, fantasy, paranormal, romance…  I enjoy erotica but RIGHT NOW, it’s a way to prime the pump financially to do full blown novels.  I love erotica, and I plan to keep doing it.  I just want to be known for more; as a multifaceted writer.

That leads us to the second issue.  Try as I might to deny it, there IS a definite bias against erotica writers in the Writing Community.  Romance writers as well, it seems.  If you’re not writing mainstream fiction or non-fiction, you’re not a real writer.  Even children’s books get more respect, and John freaking Cena wrote one of those.  Granted it’s not an all out boycott or anything, but it’s there.  “Real” writers get 1000+ followers overnight.  Nearly 3 months later, I’m struggling to stay above 500, and that’s with spending 12 hours a day trying to make friends and be supportive of others.

There’s an even greater and more obvious bias against unpublished writers.  You’re not a real author unless you have a book for sale.  The irony is, ten years ago, half the people saying or thinking this crap were getting told they weren’t real authors if they were indie or self publishing.  Now this next remark is NOT directed at anybody I know on Twitter.  Everyone that writes erotica in my circle seems to be very talented.  That said, the part that pisses me off is that I am SOLIDLY better than at least half the erotica writers on Amazon.  Half of the stuff I’ve paid money for there was so shitty they should be paying ME to read  it.  “The Wife’s BFF” is only on a blog though, so I’m not a real author.

Then there’s politics, and to a lesser degree social issues.  Everything is presented to the extreme.  You can’t be in favor of women’s rights unless you think all men need to be marched off to the gas chamber.  Anybody that wants to argue that should just look at the majority of tweets in response to Gillette’s virtue signaling “TheBestMenCanBe” campaign.  You don’t LOVE everything Democratic and declare Trump the anti-christ, you’re the enemy of everything decent, etc…  Anybody that owns a gun is out to go on a mass shooting.  Cops have a genocidal hatred of mnorities.  There’s NO rational discussion.

I tend to highlight liberal examples because they’re more common on Twitter.  All but the most rabid and insane right wingers have been shouted into silence on Twitter.  For the record, I used to describe myself as a social liberal and a fiscal conservative; kind of a classic libertarian.  As I see more and more of the extremes on all sides though, I’ve become a moderate across the board:

Yes, I want women’s rights.  I’m just sick and damned tired of seeing all men labeled as shit as part of the process.  Hate only fuels the backlash complained about and SLOWS THE PROCESS!!!

Yes, I want LGBTQ rights, but without the same toxic crap they complain about being directed back at straight people.

YES, I want minority rights, but again without the toxic crap.  Remember what I just said about backlash; it’s created by fighting hate with hate.

Yes, I want immigration reform and people to have a shot at the American dream.  The VAST majority of Latinos are moral, honest, hard working people.  I want border security too and for our cops and citizen to NOT be gunned down by the bad that come in with the good.

Ultimately, I don’t blame the extremists for all of the above either.  I blame the moderates  who supposedly agree with me, but can’t be bothered to take a stand and say “We don’t want to hear it until you’re prepared to act like a rational adult.  Until then, piss off.”  Too many moderates are enablers.  They’re afraid of taking a stand and/or losing “friends” who they’d barely tolerate in real life. So instead they give people drunk of self righteous hatred the drink of passive agreement.

Amazing how many people have re-tweeted my “Be the Light” post, but I have yet to see anybody take a real stand against the BS at Twitter.

Instead, I’m the villain for having the courage of my convictions.  I spend hours trying to build a brand and a network, liking and commenting on countless things, trying to joke and cheer people up, etc…  People barely acknowledge my existence anymore.

There’s no “Brand building” as marketers like to call it.  I can’t comment on half of what’s said on twitter for fear of being crucified.  I’m vilified for saying that so long as you don’t want to hear a reply, I don’t want to hear the hate.  I’m not taken seriously as a writer…

What the hell is the point?  I have 546 followers now.  10% of them never even read my profile to see the “politics = blocked” in it, and they have #resistance or similar crap in their profile.  Another 25% or so are just marketing bots / accounts that I have no interest in and they have NO interest in me beyond selling.  Out of the 2/3 remaining, I can count on my fingers the number of people who regularly respond to my tweets and actually give a damned about me as a person.


A Little Background…

So I’ve decided to let loose a little information about me as a writer, and why I’m fairly private as a person.

Privacy, I’ll keep simple.  I’m an introvert till I get to know people.  I’ve also had more than my share of bad experiences online and offline, so I do have some trust issues.  Overall I consider myself to be fairly well balanced though.  I also have an Associate’s Degree in Network Security, which for the record is largely useless beyond scaring the crap out of you over how many ways there are to get and exploit your personal information.

Writing is something I’ve always had an interest in.  I’ve always been good in English related subjects.  I first got serious with it when TSR released the Marvel Superheroes pen and paper RPG (role playing game).  I had always liked comic books and this gave me a format for creating my own heroes and telling my own stories.  I ended up with about 20 of my own heroes, and about as many villains, and created the stories that my friends and I ran through.  We never got into acting out the roles of the characters, but the creative process was fun.  Then came video games…

Yes, that’s right.  As crazy as it sounds, a video game helped make me a writer.

It started with the City of Heroes MMO (Massive Multiplayer Online) game.  It had  one of the richest character creation systems ever seen in video games.  This led to many people who used to roleplay on old pre-internet BBS sites to jump into the game.  These were serious roleplayers that made up their own adventures and acted out the roles of their characters.

Why bother when the game had content, you ask?  The content ran out fast, then you were either left re-running old stuff again with a new character OR putting your imagination to work.

Yes, I know it sounds weird.  It did to me also, BUT I gave it a try despite being somewhat shy.  It took a short time to break through my reservations.  Being about superheroes probably helped.  Once I did, it was an AMAZING experience though.  Think of it in terms of a never-ending, constantly ongoing class in creative writing and improvisation.  We did live stuff on the server, kept notes and did cooperative written storytelling on our forums site.

Suddenly a locked up imagination that had been discouraged by parents and others burst into full bloom.  I was creating detailed characters, directing plots and having the time of my life writing out all of it.

Well, online roleplaying communities have kind of fallen apart.  The good players have moved on and largely been replaced by people who can only play ultimately powerful characters or see it only as an opportunity for cybersex.  I’ve developed characters and stories for City of Heroes, Champions Online, Star Wars: The Old Republic, Conan: Exiles and a few other games.

My work was generally well received too, but I never considered myself “good enough to turn pro”.  As my health became problematic and I grew sick of the increasing drama with multiplayer games, I started to look at it more seriously though.  Now here I am, hoping to make a go of it.

As for liking superheroes in the first place…  I didn’t have anyone to truly look up to while growing up.  They became my examples of people who did the right thing, stood on principles, and had the ability to make a difference and help others.

End of Year Update

I’ve been fairly occupied over the holidays, and have a love-hate relationship with Christmas.  The sentiment of the holiday is wonderful but I kill myself all through December trying to pull off an amazing celebration.  Hence I’m happy it’s over with.

Needless to say, I’m behind on my writing also.  I missed a Witchfire update last Thursday.  I’m going to be working like mad to get one done on time this week also.  It’s looking a bit iffy right now.

I did come to a few realizations about my writing however.  Partially due to some quality feedback from readers.  In my Conan story for example, Tyche had no character development at the beginning or during the story.  People didn’t feel connected to her or have a reason to care about her beyond being an enemy of Set.  A problem similar to my not explaining costumes and such for the DangerBabeCentral characters I’ve been borrowing.  I hope at least I’ve developed some personalities for them all that readers can connect with.

I also keep telling people on Twitter that I want to write professionally, yet I keep getting involved deeper and deeper with my Witchfire story.  It’s a wtory I genuinely want to tell through to the conclusion, but I feel I need to be better balanced there.  I’ve written 84,081 words for it’s 8 chapters.  That’s enough for a short novel, and I’ve barely advanced the plot.  I need to be better organized, map things out better and make my chapters shorter and more concise.

I think I’ve learned more about editing the last week than actually writing, depending upon how you want to take those two examples.

On a related note, I picked up a new book called “How to Write a Novel” by Nathan Bransford.  First I have to say it’s probably one of the most helpful books on the subject I’ve found.  I’ve gone through MANY books too.  It has 47 rules on the subject.

Rule #2 is Think of an Idea (subject or genre) you love enough to neglect everything else you enjoy in life.

Essentially you have to be passionate and knowledgeable on what you’re writing.  That’s helping me focus on goals and planning better.  It means even my professional work will have some superhero stuff, and that not all of it will be smut either.  I love sex too much to turn my back on smut though, LOL.

I also downloaded Scrivener; the word processor geared towards book writers.  I’ve barely had time to play with it, but it does seem nice thus far. Some things could be done in MS Word also, but not as easily or cleanly.  It’s too early to deliver an accurate or detailed review yet, but thus far I’m liking it.  More to come as I have a chance to work with it further.

All that said, I hope everybody has a safe and amazing New Year’s Eve and an even better New Year!


My Thoughts on BDSM

Since my half dozen (thus far) non fan fiction erotica pieces all have at least a slight element of domination and submission to them (Amy’s Seduction being the only real exception), AND I’m picking up followers on Twitter into that lifestyle, I felt I’d take a couple of minutes to spell out my thoughts on the subject.

Plain and simple, my view is that as long as it’s safe, sane and above all mutually consensual, it’s all good.  All of that requires a great deal of communication and self awareness by both parties.

I have one huge gripe with elements of the community.  That being the “if you’re not doing it MY way, it’s not really domination!” crowd.  To be blunt, that’s not only utter crap, it also tells me the Dom or Domme uttering it has no idea what they’re talking about, quite likely little or no respect for submissives, and / or massive insecurity issues.  A real dominant is going to want to talk, make sure the other person is more than just titillated, and has compatible ideas about what BDSM is.  If their ideas later drift apart on the subject, they will set the submissive free instead of trying to force them past hard limits also.

I’m fairly passionate on the issue because I used to have a virtual part-time job counseling women who were responding to ads looking for submissives on a certain free site that no longer runs personals.  Horrified by some of the “dom” ads I saw I posted my own telling submissives that their submission was a gift given, it had to be earned, that a dom should listen to your wants and needs when establishing relationship boundaries, and that it was just as much about their orgasm as his.

It was amazing and scary how many “thank you” replies I got from women with strong curiosity but who were confused and scared after ‘talking’ to abusers who told them that if they were submissive at all, they’d immediately do anything and everything the “dom” said, no questions asked, right from the moment they met.  A few of them even told me they were made to feel like they were crazy until they read my post.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m anything but a saint.  I’m proud to say I saved a few women from abusive relationships though.