Let’s Talk Boobs and Sex!

There’s an attention grabbing headline, LOL

So what has me interested in talking about boobs, you ask? It’s because of my work on my revamped Witchfire erotica series here, AND some past verbal brawls on Twitter.

Twitter is where it all started. Back when I had an account there and had first decided to try to make a go of writing Erotica to sell, I ran into a boatload of opinionated people. On Twitter? Shocking, right? LOL. The most annoying group was a gaggle of busybody would-be erotica authors that constantly trashed others’ writing. Men got it really bad from them.

I did a rant in the ‘safe’ blog about how I thought they were being narrow-minded and losing out on half the population as potential customers. I’ll skip repeating that here. Long story short, I try to write to appeal to both men and women. I also don’t mind missing out on the extreme elements of either gender.

Trying to work up physical descriptions along with unique turn-ons and hot spots for each character in the Witchfire series got me to thinking just how silly so much of adult entertainment, AND some of the debates around it are. It’s not just men who are clueless about boobs, for example. And believe me, 95% of them are… Women are nearly as bad. There are several reports that somewhere between 45% and 55% of Western women are wearing incorrectly sized bras. Many of the articles out there advocating that bras are bad for breast health are written BY WOMEN also.

Just as an FYI; poor fitting bras are bad. Properly fitting ones prevent sagging and tearing of connective tissue holding the breasts to the rib cage.

If you’re a ‘big’ girl, a properly fitting bra can better distribute the twins’ weight across your shoulders and save some major back aches.

Getting back to erotica and porn though… Part of the reason I made Krystal / Witchfire a normal sized gal in a world full of giant boobed superheroines was to put a dent in the “bigger is better” myth. Big boobs certainly have their charms and some of the stereotypes about them are true

Trying to inject a little humor here. 😀

But aside from personal preferences, most of the ideas about big boobs are a myth. Just like all women are unique, boobs are too. Sex drive and performance has NOTHING to do with boob size for starters. It’s simply a societal thing in many parts of the world that a big breasted woman is expected to be more sexual.

As for sensitivity, small boobs are GENERALLY more sensitive because the nerve endings in them are closer together. They’re not spread out over a greater surface area. Breast sensitivity also has alot to do with genetics and how close to the surface those nerve endings end up being. My BFF in high school was a good example there. She was almost as big as the “Epic Boobs” girl above and had crazy sensitive boobs. Some women also are more sensitive on different parts of the breasts. The lower outside quadrant being almost as common as nipples. Again, it all depends on where the nerves ended up thanks to her genetics.

Truth though; almost ANY woman can have the fabled “boobgasm” if their boobs are handled properly. Sadly, porn teaches men to treat boobs like a chew toy or a stress ball. Some girls may like their boobs handled a little more firmly, but nobody likes them mangled. A woman is also far more likely to melt from a light fingertip tracing around her nipple than pinching and pulling it.

And Then There’s Dicks…

Dare we even talk about the giant penis thing in porn also? Talk about a myth! Too big hurts as it’s rammed into the cervix. Don’t believe me? Look at some of that giant wiener porn and see how far the guy actually goes into the girl. Usually only half way. Just like a penis, a vagina varies in size, so every woman is different, and you can’t necessarily judge by how tall she is either.

Truth here, guys? The ideal size for a woman is one that can fill her almost completely when you’re hilted, but stop short of hitting her cervix. So, yes, size DOES matter, but not as much as you think. Technique matters just as much, maybe a little more.

Hot Spots and Foreplay:

Sadly a lost art even in women’s romance novels, nevermind porn itself. Guys, and gals also, you owe it to yourself and your partner to take the time to thoroughly explore their body. Everybody is different, and they will have slightly different sensitivity in each erogenous zone. Each hot spot MAY only respond if touched a certain way also. It’s your job to figure it all out. Learn what makes them tick and how to fully push those buttons.

I can hear the guys out there saying “why bother”, etc…

I’ll tell you why. Because as good as you THINK you are with your cock, enough foreplay before getting started will make her reactions FAR more intense. A woman you’ve taken the time to FULLY satisfy and show you care enough about her needs to take that time, also becomes much more uninhibited sexually. Typically she’ll be eager to show you how much she appreciates it. If not, you probably have the wrong girl.

Instead of treating getting her properly aroused as a waste of time, take it as a challenge to see how turned on you can make her before entering her. Push her buttons. See if you can make her beg (don’t push it if it ain’t her thing!). See if you can get her so turned on that she climaxes as soon as you enter her.

So yeah… Maybe our porn and erotica would be better and have more universal appeal if our sex education and willingness to please our partners on every level was better.

Erotica, Porn & Stereotypes

I got into an interesting “debate” earlier today about the evils of Porn. I say debate with quotes because it went the way many internet discussions go, with the other side refusing to listen to anything that diverged from their own particular view that everything “adult” was evil and degrading to women.

I do NOT want to get into the pattern or appearance of defending what’s wrong with the adult entertainment industry. My sole objection in the earlier debate elsewhere was that EVERY woman was a sex slave and that every adult video out there is degrading to women. Jenna Jameson made a fortune in the porn industry. 1993’s “Cabin Fever” was made by women for women.

I guess my questions / conversation starters are:

  1. How do we make these more the rule than the exception?
  2. How do we separate erotica from hardcore hentai and porn?
  3. How do we help men, especially younger men, see that porn is a FANTASY and not the real world?
  4. Is it even possible to convince some people that sex isn’t evil?

A couple of things before we dive into discussion:

First, once again, I’m not defending sex trafficking, use of under age performers, and such. These things should be stamped out, period.

Second, I’m not talking in point number one about making all porn into romance novels (which is kind of what Cabin Fever was). I’m talking about making it passionate and appealing to both sexes.

Lastly, I’m working from the assumption that censorship and outlawing any sort of adult video is only going to drive the industry underground and make it harder to monitor. Much the same way prohibition did with booze and the recent COVID related censorship did with alternative views and questioning the government.

I actually do have some ideas for all four questions above. I want to see what readers have to say first however. 😉