Update…

I’m trying to play catch up with real life and get myself back on something resembling a normal sleep schedule after that all night ordeal with the thief camped out across the street and no police response.  I still plan on a couple of posts later tonight though.  I guess it’s true what they say about writing; it’s something that’s just stuck in your blood. The writing bug is hitting me hard again at any rate.  I have ideas for that Witchfire revamp that I’ve mentioned a few times and dozens of other stories floating around in my head.

Interestingly enough, my “Burnt Out” post has gotten the most likes of anything I’ve written in ages, and is still getting more views than anything before or after it.  Maybe there’s an audience for a sane middle ground voice after all.  I’m still a bit doubtful an aspiring erotica author is that flag bearer though.

Beyond what I plan to put in my other posts tonight, there’s not much going on though.  We’re redoubling our efforts to get the house ready to list so we can get the hell out of this insane state.

The Once and Future Witchfire

I’m working at getting life back on track and being able to get into a writing routine again.  As the headline indicates, I haven’t forgotten Witchfire as part of that writing.

Looking over my story this far, I’m mostly happy with it.  I see enough hastily put together sentences with poor structure, and points in the story where stress took me off my intended path, that I’m torn on what to do with the stories.

A small part of me would like to just reboot from scratch and see what I can do better.  That kind of feels like reinventing the wheel however.

The second option is to simply move forward, and do better.  That in and of itself has some merit as a writing challenge or exercise.

A third option would be to split the difference, have Witchfire sent back in time, and see how much of the existing past she can actually correct before we catch back up to the present.  That’s all I want to say about option 3, as anything more would amount to spoilers.  There’s potential for exciting plot twists there however.

So, what do you my readers think?

The Art of Persuasion Hasn’t Changed?!?

I’m writing this in response to an article I came across on the Harvard Business Review (HBR).  They sometimes have some good stuff, but I think this particular article was a little short sighted

The irony here is that the author is a Harvard professor in communications.  He had a point about the basics not changing since Aristotle.  His list of the five basics are:

1. (Establishing) Character
2. Reason
3. Emotion
4. Metaphor
5. Brevity

The only one I could argue with is that I think establishing character is now often replaced with establishing some sort of (often imagined or exaggerated) expertise or credibility.  Morals don’t matter so long as you’re an expert, a victim or better yet both.

Re-reading the article, maybe it’s fairer to say that while I agree those key foundations haven’t changed much, I’ve seen a great deal of change in the nature of persuasion.

Misrepresentation and half truths have always been a tool of the unscrupulous.  Nothing new there.  I’m seeing them used FAR more often nowadays though.  The media and politicians on both sides do this constantly anymore, to the point I don’t believe anything they say without extensive fact checking.  There’s a HUGE difference between “unarmed man shot by police” and “unarmed man high on drugs shot by police while trying to wrestle gun away from officer”.  The former gets far more ratings than the latter though.

Combine that with sarcasm and you’ve got the play book for all the late night talk shows.  A far cry from the days of Carson.

As I mentioned in a reply to another blog, I also see deliberately vague communication being used much more frequently.  Typically with the goal of creating some sort of deniability on the speaker’s part if they’re called out on anything.  I miss the days when  “establishing Character” and speaking plainly yet in a civil manner was considered a virtue.

The biggest change in persuasion specifically that I’ve seen is the use of manipulative language.  Without getting into politics, let’s take another look at the news.  We’ve all heard the term “collusion” tossed about in excess the last few years.  It sounds horrible and it’s used to provoke a strong negative emotional reaction.  Yet, there’s no LEGAL basis for the term.  It was used in place of the proper criminal term of “conspiracy” because then the media and various other people can’t be sued or prosecuted for making false criminal charges.  The Left did it with Trump and the Right did it with Hillary.  That was just an easy and blatant example.  I’m not taking sides at all here either.  I think we all would have been better served by honest discussions about what may have been illegal and what may have been legal but was certainly bad form or outright immoral.  The lesson here remains to be aware of the manipulative use of language.

Persuasion has become far more of a science today also.  People know that if they can get a peer in a group to say something is good or bad, the rest of the group is much more likely to follow suit.  That’s the whole trick to selling Tupperware or Mary Kay.  I could go on for quite a while here, but there are dozens of websites devoted to revealing sales tricks like that, push-pull techniques, take aways and imagined scarcity, etc…

Probably the most insidious form of persuasion is Neuro-Linguistic Programming or NLP.  I’ve mentioned this a few times in previous posts.  NLP was first created in the late 70s with the goal of figuring out how the best in any given field do what they do and making it repeatable.  NLP quickly became focused on communication and persuasion, and borrows heavily from Ericksonian Hypnosis.  It’s used in everything from selling to seduction too.

To over simplify it, NLP persuasion (at it’s most basic levels) relies on subtle “hypnotic” commands and catch phrases to trick people into thinking they want to do or not do something.

For example; “what was it like when you…” will get a person to recall a specific experience.  Anything from sex to the first time they saw and fell in love with their dream car.  Don’t believe me?  Ask yourself about something that way and see if your mind doesn’t begin recalling that experience.

There are dozens of phrases like that also.  “What would it be like if…” for example.  The whole idea being to capture and lead the target’s imagination toward a desired result.  There are other tricks used along with those phrases, such as the human mind’s inability to process a negative.  Phrase anything as a “don’t want to” and the other person’s subconscious will process it as a “want to”.  Which sounds more sincere?  “I don’t want to have sex.” or “I just want to cuddle and relax.”

It’s not necessary for you to immediately realize just how twisted this can get.  If you think about it though, you might find yourself aware of just how great the potential for abuse here is.  😉

Presuppositions are another NLP trick used by nearly everyone today.  A presupposition is something stated as fact and used as a premise for an argument / persuasion attempt.  Let’s avoid politics and the media for this example.  If I said “It’s going to rain today, so you should take your umbrella.”, the presupposition there is that it is indeed going to rain.  That may or may not be true, but by stating it as fact, the debate on if the umbrella is needed is derailed unless the likelihood of rain is challenged.  That challenge is less likely since the rain was stated as a matter of fact.

Again, if you pay attention (an NLP embedded command to do so), you’ll see presuppositions used everywhere.  Anything from you need something being sold, and that it can be a benefit to you, so something that “other” group over did was evil and clearly motivated by malice.

So yes, the very basics of communication may not have changed much, but I think it’s easy to see that the science and morals of how one goes about persuading have changed a great deal.

Realizations on Writing

I teased this a couple of posts ago, and I suppose its time to pay it off.  I’m not getting any sleep tonight either with a pack of teenage hooligans roaming the neighborhood on foot for since 1:30am

So long story short, I’ve spent my down time trying to figure out why I was feeling so frustrated, (and thus burnt out) with my writing before my long break.  I came to a couple of conclusions:  I wasn’t writing for me, I was overly concerned about offending people, and I’m still trying to find my exact niche on writing.

The not writing for me thing is ironic, since during my time on twitter, I was constantly encouraging people and telling them that if THEY don’t enjoy what they’re writing, it will show through in their writing and it won’t be their best work.  I’ve studied public speaking and communication, and let myself get too wrapped up in the admonitions to tailor your communication to your audience.  That’s fine if you have a specific audience you’re reaching out to.  When you’re trying to write something that will appeal to wider demographics though, you have to set those admonitions aside to a degree and be true to yourself.  Otherwise your writing or words won’t be genuine.  People pick up on that too, at least on a subconscious level.

Twitter was a horrible experience for me in terms of creating that worry about offending people.  Despite all the talk about how great the writing community is, I saw alot of clique behavior.  Erotica authors aren’t real writers.  If you do this in your erotica (such as mentioning bra sizes), you’re a crappy writer and I won’t read you, etc…

The main gaggle of female erotica authors would even ghost you if you didn’t support their beliefs that women shouldn’t be held to any conduct, dress, etc… standards and similar extreme SJW ideas.  heaven help you if you supported a male erotica author also.  Kind of sad really.

I could (and maybe will do) a whole separate post on my thoughts there.  It does impact my writing after all.  LONG story short however, suffice it to say I do believe in women’s sexual empowerment, but I also believe in common sense limits on everything.  Wear a short, tight dress and flaunt what you’ve got for example.  Just don’t get mad if you’re dressing sexy and guys (or other women) flirt with you or check you out.  You have EVERY right to be completely safe dressed like that.  No should always mean no as well.  How you dress does nothing to change that.  Getting bitchy when you get harmless attention when you’re dressing to get attention is immature at best though.

As much as I love sex and sensuality, I also believe some things belong behind closed doors.  That’s another thing that seems to set me apart at least from some of the younger erotica authors.  I’m libertarian enough to believe anything kinky you want to do behind closed doors is fine.  Common decency and general self respect dictate some things should stay private, not flaunted in public though.  Bottom line, I’ve learned to stop caring what the twitter crowd thinks.  Shame since Twitter could be a good marketing tool.

Then there’s the whole finding my niche thing.  My Witchfire stories have been an attempt to see if I could combine superheroes and erotica in a real way.  The trouble with that specific genre is that the internet is loaded with sites catering to pubescent boys and outright misogynists, that glorify raping superheroines and “putting them in their place”.   They completely dehumanize woman, and mock strong, capable women.  That’s the last thing I want to contribute to.

At the same time, you have women fighting the worst elements of humanity in these stories, so there’s a question realism with never having it happen.  My original thinking was to keep it rare, not glorify it, and also have the heroine(s) escape / turn the tables, or at least get back at their attackers later.  Avoiding it entirely would be easy if I was only writing a sexy story.  I have been trying to spin a real, ongoing story between the sex scenes though.  Intrigue, personality conflicts, human problems, etc…

Part of the problem with Witchfire was that I was rushing the content also.  I think it made the story chapters far more sloppy than they should have been, and took a few aspects of the stories in directions I didn’t intend to go also.  If I pick up work there again, I’m likely to start over from scratch and treat the existing content thus far as rough drafts.

I admit, I’ve also felt dirty at times writing erotica.  My sexy, passionate side is balanced by a fairly strong religious and spiritual side as well.  To thine own self be true however.  I can’t pretend the sexy side doesn’t exist.  I have a real talent for smut also, lol.  I know ultimately I’d like to evolve into more of a mainstream fiction writer who includes some very racy scenes.  Yes, the unicorn known as porn with a plot for you cynical people, LOL.  Getting there means accepting all of me though, and seeing what that allows me to grow into.

And there you have it.  My continuing path to self-realization thus far as a would be author.

Keep Being the Light

WordPress isn’t letting me reblog my own post, so I’m going to cut and paste it below.  I originally wrote this after getting REALLY fed up with all the negativity and hypocrisy on Twitter.  The advice speaks for itself, with one possible exception.  It IS written from a Christian perspective since it was a church service that inspired it.  None the less, I don’t believe that Christians have a monopoly on morals or leading by example.  What’s written here is a universal truth (for lack of better wording).

 

I’m sure I’m confusing people on twitter with my moderate’s disdain for the political extremes running amok there.  I’m grateful that some people seem to get it though.

My “No Politics” post didn’t make things as clear as I’d have liked.  I have TWO big problems with politics and the way people talk to others:

 

1) Issues are NEVER as simple as the extremists and demagogues on either side make them out to be.  For example, gangs are just one good reason for a border wall, BUT we have to overhaul our immigration system as well and allow good people a chance at the American Dream, take an honest look at what we may be doing to contribute to problems in Latin America, and see if we can do things to help them help themselves.

2) These extremists not only shut down thinking and discussion, they spread hate and poison.  There’s a principle of metaphysics that says hate only attracts more hate and conflict.  It doesn’t matter how righteous you THINK your cause is, if your answer is trashing and threatening violence against those you disagree with, you are part of the PROBLEM, not the solution.  You are also actively working to make the world a DARKER place.

I keep saying be more like Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr, Mother Theresa, Jesus, Buddha, etc…  I have a perfect story that illustrates the point also.  The Christmas Eve service is the one time this heathen is guaranteed to turn up at church.  The closing part of the services; the same every year, are exactly why:

The Pastor talks about the need to carry the Christmas Spirit into and through the new year, and how the world is a dark place if everybody withholds their love, compassion and caring from the world.  To illustrate the point, the lights are turned off in the chapel.

Now, everybody is given a candle entering the service.  They’re all being lit as the Pastor speaks.  He tells everyone to keep the candles low at first also; withhold their light from the world metaphorically.  Then he starts talking about how people can be the light, and make the world a better place.  Then all 3000 people (It’s a big church) hold up their candles.  It’s beautiful and amazing the difference it makes

Bayside Church Candle Lighting & Silent Night

Afterwards everyone sings Silent Night and then the services are over.

Watch the YouTube video through to the end and see if it doesn’t have the same impact on you as it did me.  It’s alot of light, and it’s people wanting said light to better the world, NOT burn it down.  THINK about that. Remember the people you disagree with are human beings with legitimate reasons for feeling and thinking the way they do.  If you actually talk to them like human beings, you will PROBABLY find out that you have more in common than you realize once you get past artificial labels.

Think win-win and you can probably also find a solution that’s not perfect, but works for both of you.

BE THE LIGHT

Jesus in a Comic Book??

I got an email from the friend I co-conspire with on the Witchfire stories.  Apparently DC Comics had a plan to start a new comic book called “Second Coming”.  The premise was that Jesus returned to Earth and shares an apartment with a superhero.  DC cancelled the project after some major blow back.  The writer, Mark Russell, says he’s got another company lined up to do the project though.  part of the premise also apparently is that Jesus is keeping a low profile and won’t use his spiritual powers because people got too hung up on the loaves and fishes thing and ignore the message he had the first time around.

OK, I’m hardly the perfect Christian.  FAR from it to be honest, but I have major issues with this.  Many of them based on what comics have become the last decade.  Here is the email reply I sent to “Deanna Troi”:

 

I could definitely see where the concept could be interesting, if done right.  Overall, I’d have to lean towards the “don’t do it” side on this one however.  This based on your report that he really is the second coming.

First, DC is messing with peoples’ religion.  There’s a very specific set of prophecies around the second coming, and I really doubt DC or this other company would give them the consideration they’re due, until they need a big epic event to boost sales and then suddenly the superhero He’s rooming with is fighting the apocalypse in Jesus’s place.  Oh and it’ll get repeated as often as Ragnarok does in Thor comics despite each one being the “final” one.  I think peoples’ religious beliefs deserve a little more respect than all of that.

Granted, we could get into a separate conversation about characters like Thor and if they’re respectful of Wiccan and pagan beliefs, but up till about the time Jane Foster became Thor, I think Marvel mostly did a reasonable job there.  WAY off the rails after that, except for the movies, but that’s another conversation.

Getting back on topic, there’s the whole way that comics distort everything also.  Jesus only has “super powers” in the very broadest definition, being the literal son of God.  “He doesn’t want to use them as he figures that’s where things went wrong the first time”, is a textbook example.  Again, that’s assuming you relayed what was said 100% accurate.  First, it implies Jesus was running around making mistakes.  If so, he wasn’t perfect and His sacrifice for our sins would be meaningless and ineffective.  He did what was necessary to demonstrate faith in God and prepare Himself for the cross.

Now, Mark Russell had a partial point there though.  In my opinion, people are WAY too wrapped up in the victim game nowadays and delight in blaming God for not making their life a cakewalk.  Reality is, 90% of the suffering in the world is man’s inhumanity to man.  We’re here to be tested and grow as beings.  It’s ironic, really.  The rebellion in Heaven lead by Lucifer was supposedly over whether or not people would be puppets down here, OR be allowed to have free will and make their own mistakes and thus grow more.  Putting it in more “worldly” terms, look at the way helicopter kids turn out vs kids that are raised to be responsible and self-reliant.

As far as not listening to His words, that’s a LONG talk I’ll spare you, LOL.  Suffice it to say that the vast majority of folks are guilty of picking and choosing what they take from the Bible and Jesus’s teachings, and putting their own sometimes twisted spin on it all as well.  “Judge not” being the most famous example with many folks.  The proper interpretation is “Judge not unrighteous judgments lest you be judged”.  Point being, it’s perfectly right to say some things (rape, child abuse, murder, etc…) are wrong.

Remember some of the conversations we’ve had in the recent past about how far off the rails comics have gotten the last decade also.  The Muslim Green Lantern being the perfect example.  He was a terrorist before he got a power ring.  He never took responsibility for his actions though, and claimed it wasn’t his fault because he was just the driver and didn’t know the whole plan.  THEN he doubled down on it by being mad at the government for treating him like a criminal WHEN HE WAS!  Instead, in an effort to show how enlightened they are DC Comics played up the whole persecuted Muslim angle.  OH, and then they have him carry a gun on top of his power ring “just in case”.  He has no faith in the ring or himself, which makes for a crappy lantern, and DC actually made him look like the stereotypical evil violent Muslim by having to carry a gun also.  The entire story could have played out COMPLETELY different and helped the cause of decent Muslims by having him an innocent bystander who helped victims and having that courage earn him a power ring.

THESE are the same people that wanted to portray Jesus walking the Earth again.  Yeah, I’d be wary also, and am.

Personally, IF I were going to tackle the topic, I would have left it VERY much up in the air if the guy really was Jesus.  Make the audience wonder and make up their own minds.   He talks the talk, can do miracles, maybe keeps a low profile, won’t outright say he’s Jesus, but makes remarks that imply he might be, etc…

 

That Other Complaint

I’ve already made a few posts today.  I did say I was going to talk about that other recent Twitter notification that bothered me though.

It was one going around the erotica authors’ circle on Twitter.  It was all about how women were supposedly educating men about what horrible erotica authors they are and laughing at their “stupid” mistakes.  Not the first time I’ve seen such a post either.  During my few months on twitter, I found the erotica authors to be pretty judgmental and negative in general.  The key words there are “IN GENERAL”.  There are some wonderful, supportive and talented women (and men) there also.  I adore Ava Sterling and Aurora Blue in particular.  They’ve been helpful since the beginning.

OK, getting back to the subject, let’s be real.  There are quite a few bad male erotica authors out there.  What the ladies are NOT understanding though is that their way or view is NOT the only way.  I had a blog post about this in the past.  There was an article in The Atlantic magazine how authors had to write consent in romance novels.  The idea being essentially that if you didn’t have written and signed consent at every step of the way, you were writing and advocating rape.  Here’s that blog post:

A Minor Rant

My comments there are enough said.  Another example I saw in the past was a snarky agreement among some that if bra or genital sizes were mentioned, they immediately stopped reading and the story was trash.  “What did they do, take out a measuring tape at that point?” was one reply.   What they were missing is that some people, particularly if they”re in fields that require regular measuring and sizing such as seamstresses and tailors, clothing sales people, construction and automotive workers, and even people that do crafty type things as hobbies, tend to be able to measure very accurately by eyesight.  It’s not unrealistic at all.  Overall, I’d agree that general size descriptors and leaving things to imagination is probably a little better though.

So where do I think the issues are being seen all wrong?  The ladies are missing a chance to grow their audience.  Men DO buy and read erotica also.  I get email from men and women both on my writing.

Saying “women don’t stand in front of mirrors and compare their boobs to fruit” misses the reality that men tend to be highly visual creatures and competition / comparison driven.  They care about things like are a female character’s boobs “pear shaped” or perfectly round and firm *cough*fakeboobs*cough* (lol).  They want to know who’s boobs are bigger and by how much also.  When you understand the male mindset, you can tailor your writing just a little so that you appeal more to them as well.  Bang, your sales go up.

The whole idea of “teaching” men by belittling them is only going to backfire also.  For all their bravado, men have fragile egos, especially where women are concerned.  They’re also trained to suppress emotion early on, so they’re rarely all that intuitive, BUT they also are eager to please.

So here’s a tip, girls, both as authors and for relationships.  All you’ve got to do to get a decent guy to do what you want is ask nicely or gently suggest.  In the case of writing erotica, give them better, more natural ways to help relay visual information.  Explain to them that the act isn’t about rutting either when you’re a woman.  It’s about intimacy, emotional connection, and a primal need to feel desired, like that male character would sacrifice anything to have our heroine.  When an erotica author can impart all of those male and female perspective elements into a story, I think the sky is the limit.

Again, same holds true with relationships.  Too many women complain about men being clueless, and expect them to know exactly how to touch them, what to say to them, etc…  It takes communication.  Positive communication too.  “A little gentler (or rougher), oh yes!”, goes much farther with the typical clueless male than “not like that, you selfish idiot.”

A certain radio show host on relationships had it right; women have all the power in relationships (at least non-abusive ones).  It just has to be used in the right way.

Now for Some Good News

I’ll wait in the other thing I wanted complain about.  There’s enough negativity out there already, AND I do my best to limit myself to just a few posts a day.  I think that’s easier on followers.

While I was away, I passed the 100 follower mark.  In fact, with some help from my guest post at LittleFears, I now am sitting at 114 followers. 🙂   Here’s a quick peek at my WP traffic map:

Not bad for a blog that’s only been active since October of last year.  😀

India has been a pleasant surprise in both the number of followers I’ve picked up and the quality of their thoughts & writing.

My major stray thought / self doubt is what would happen if I went back to focusing on erotica.  The blog has drifted away from that.  Think it’s helped people see that there’s a real person behind the screen name even if I am otherwise very private.

 

Character Inspiration

I decided to show once again that you can find inspiration for characters (or stories) almost anywhere.  I constantly run through things I’ve read and watched for ideas…  How can I put a unique twist on something and change it enough to make it original?

Often times, it just ends up being the general idea.  My most well received City of Heroes story was based on a cartoon where one character went undercover in the villain organization but only one other person knew and they got put into a coma by an attack from the villains.

One of my most quirky characters was actually a near complete borrowing of a cartoon character.  She was a video game character in Champions Online.  Meet C.S.I. Gadget:

For those who didn’t guess…  She’s a tribute character based on Inspector Gadget’s niece Penny.  I made her origin vague enough so that neither I nor the game got in trouble for copyright violation.  The origin being that she was the neice of the city’s now retired most famous cyborg detective.  A natural genius, she covertly helped her uncle, and when she graduated school a few years early, she went on to college and got dual degrees in engineering and criminology, then became a CSI for the Department.  She carries several devices and a portable crime lab, and has a small army of robotic pets that help her fight crime.  And yes, as the picture indicates, she rides around on a small circular flying platform.

I got several compliments on her look, with people saying the look was perfect for an adult Penny.  Here’s her street clothes “costume”.  The shirt is supposed to be a Millennium City PD T-Shirt.  Being an older game, Champions Online didn’t allow for a super high level of detail.

So, I hope that help you writers see that an open eye and a little imagination can find creative inspiration anywhere.

She had a virtual army of pets in the game and it was a joke among my friends that turning her loose, the bad guy would scream in terror as a sea of pets washed over them, LOL.  That was before the game nerfed the pet summoning powers though.  *grumble*

Habit #7 – Sharpen the Saw

There’s some irony coming here…  See, in quite a few of the blogs I’ve followed, I keep agreeing via comments that they do indeed need to given themselves permission to take a break and recharge their batteries.  I point out that Stephen Covey’s habit #7 of the “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” is to stop and sharpen the saw.  That way your woodcutting will be easier when you return to it.

Saw and woodcutting are metaphors obviously, and the message applies to any job or task.  I found out tonight (earlier this morning) that I’m NOT immune to that advice.

I’ve been stressed out, no energy or creativity…  Anybody following the blog the last few weeks knows things have been chaotic.  I spent more time trying to get things done and worrying that I wasn’t than I did doing said things.  My writing muse was dead.

Earlier though, I fired up Steam and just played Soul Calibur 6 for a little bit.  I’m amazed at what a difference letting everything go for a few hours made.  I feel completely refreshed mentally and spiritually.  I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.  It’s the first time I’ve given myself any real leisure time and stopped worrying about things for a few months.  My productivity was crap the entire time too.

Bottom line; I’m going to allow myself to sharpen the saw a little more often.  While still keeping my eyes on my writing goals that is.  🙂