Alive!

Yes, I’m back. Real life had gotten kind of hectic. Some of that is detailed in the other, vanilla blog. That specific link will take you to my most recent post there, where I complain about feeling I can’t be myself or say what I want as a blogger. Read it if you want, if Not I understand. Be forewarned though; it is a classic redhead rant, lol.

What I’d like to dialog here about though is a calmer continuation of that whole mess as relates to sexy blogging. I have two main stumbling blocks when it comes to posting here or getting anything “adult” written.

First, as I mentioned in the other blog, there’s the worry of being judged and labeled. Doesn’t matter who you are, if you deal with erotica and similar topics, you’re either a whore or a male pig. You’d think being a redhead, I wouldn’t give a F what others think, BUT like most stereotypes, that’s all it really is. I have a fairly strong spiritual side and am an honest to goodness empath too. That last part in particular makes it hard to tune out the crap sometimes.

Second is a problem even “regular” writers face; I have to REALLY be inspired to write. In the case of erotica, that’s in the mood and able to visualize the scene almost enough that I could almost see it as I’m writing.

That second part is the bigger stumbling block by far. Those of you out there who actually find the creativity to turn out high quality stuff regularly, I’m truly jealous of.

So who has any advice? How do you turn off the worry and find inspiration? I’ve had several ideas for ages, I just haven’t been able to get them off the ground.

It’s In The Cards?

Picture borrowed from Flickr – https://www.flickr.com/photos/rosaumbra/3567680676

This one is going to get a bit new-agey, so just hang in there. I promise it’ll be interesting regardless. First, let’s start with a little honesty, both with myself and you all:

Yes, life has been a seemingly never ending series of small train wrecks the last few years (and before that, lol), BUT, even as frustrating as multiple moves, dogs barking and stampeding, etc… have been… The real reason I’ve done so little here is self-doubt. My sexual past is… complicated also.

Only Arrowverse fans will get it, but… LOLOL

Anything sexual is both complicated and draining for an Empath also. Even just creative writing about it tends to pull on or out a great deal of emotional energy. That MAY be something for another post however. It would take time to discuss properly.

LONG story short, I’ve spent a great deal of time the last few weeks reflecting on whether or not writing, erotica in particular, was something that I was truly ready to pursue… or if maybe I should focus on more mundane pursuits. Not coming to any real conclusions on my own, I turned to the tarot card reading software I have to see if I could get a little insight.

As a Side Note, I know what a few of you MAY be thinking; “Get a reading from a piece of software?!?” Well, I actually DO have a real deck, but I’m still learning to read it. More importantly, whether you’re using physical cards or software, it’s just your subconscious mind / higher self trying to communicate with you. With the software, you pick the cards, the software places them, and tell you their base meaning, and how being inverted and or it’s position with other cards effects it’s meaning. Once the cards are all read, the software leaves you to interpret how it all comes together to answer your question. Again, because it’s all really about getting an answer from your subconscious, it’s been surprisingly accurate for me every time I’ve used it.

With that clarification, I’m going to post the “reading” I did on becoming an author:

Cards from the Celtic Dragon Tarot deck; the style of deck I own.

Summary (Career Reading)

QUESTION: How Successful Will I Be as a Writer?

First card: The first card describes the past. It can also signify past factors such as study or work experience.

(1) YOU GOT: The World.
This card is about joy of the senses, the cosmic origin of life, love and happiness. This card is well-dignified (100%), this means that its neighbor cards strengthen it. Meanings: Well-dignified it signifies success, a favorable issue to the circumstances. Sometimes change of place.

Second card: The second card describes the present situation. It’s the current state of the subject’s career.

(2) YOU GOT: Five of Staves.
This card is about persuasion, hot speech, demonstration of love or desire and egotism. Meanings: Power, and pleasure in exercising it; adventure, speculation, and uncertainty; strong attachments. This card is well-dignified (100%), this means: Boldness, command, generosity.

Third card: The third card describes the positives, the ‘pros’.

(3) YOU GOT: Knight of Swords.
This card is about a military man, painful memories, distress in the family and war. Meanings: A youngish man, with some talent for governing, rather materialistic, though with some artistic appreciation, active, clever, fond of travel, dexterous, and skillful in management. This card is well-dignified (100%), this means: Favorable to the enterprises of the Querent.

Fourth card: The fourth card describes the negatives, the ‘cons’.

(4) YOU GOT: Seven of Cups.
This card is about thoughts, ideas, intelligence, plans and imagination. This card is well-dignified (100%), this means that its neighbor cards strengthen it. Meanings: Possible victory, but the person to whom the card applies may be too indolent to take advantage of his opportunities for commanding circumstance; success may be gained, but not followed up; necessity for choosing the highest possible objectives.

Fifth card: The fifth card describes the influence of colleagues, management and others with whom the subject has professional dealings.

(5) YOU GOT: The Lovers.
This card is about sensuality and human love. This card is well-dignified (100%), this means that its neighbor cards strengthen it. Meanings: Attraction, beauty, love, sympathy. Balance of forces, and reciprocal activity. Particularly, agreement in things of the mind, symbolized by the six-pointed star, or hexagram. It is a card of harmony between the inner and outer life.

Sixth card: The sixth card describes the best path to take in order to further the subject’s best interest in the matter.

(6) YOU GOT: Nine of Swords.
This card is about dogmatism, ritual, ecclesiastic spirit and hard judgment. This card is well-dignified (100%), this means that its neighbor cards strengthen it. Meanings: Faithfulness, obedience, unselfishness, patience; fortunate news about legal affairs or partnerships, especially if the outcome has been delayed or in doubt; aid or gain through relatives, short journeys, or writings, but not until the Querent has passed through a period of more or less uncertainty and worry; ultimate good fortune resulting from a series of events which present unfavorable appearances at first.

Seventh card: The seventh card describes the outcome. It indicates the final result if the path shown is followed.

(7) YOU GOT: Two of Swords.
This card is about magnetic attraction, intimacy, affection and sensuality.
This card is well-dignified (100%), this means that its neighbor cards strengthen it. Meanings: Contradictory characters in the same nature: strength through suffering; pleasure after pain. Delay in the realization of objectives. It intimates a period of uncertainty, in which the Querent, through he has a sense of adequate power, does not know just what to do with it. Justice, unselfishness, and the restoration of peace.

MY (Short) Take On It:

The first card; The World meant that my past work, while needing improvement, is better than I’ve given myself credit for, and is an indication that I have ability. The second card; 5 of Staves, is along the same lines. It means I’ve got the ability and need to put it to use. The third card; Knight of Swords, means I have the organizational skills to handle the choice. The fourth card; Seven of Cups, means I’ll have to be dedicated to the work and improving my craft if I want to succeed. The fifth card; The Lovers, I’m *guessing* means I’ll have some support in the effort. As for the sixth card; The 9 of Swords, it means the best path is hard work, serious effort at growth, and releasing the self doubt. The seventh card; the 2 of Swords (interesting that so many of the minor arcana cards were Swords… means it’ll be a struggle at first, but if I keep at it, I’ll be successful.

All in all, I’d say it was a very positive reading.

Erotica and Witchfire Specifically:

A few hints in the above reading indicated that erotica was indeed in the cards for me, (pun always intended, lol). None the less, I did separate readings on both of those with similar results. The main difference being that the readings indicated that they would both be tools to help me find increased peace with that part of my nature. They’d both be growth tools in their own unique ways.

Wrapping it Up:

I’ve overcome a great deal the last few months. I even got my neck and back returned to a (somewhat) functional state and am continuing to work hard there. I can and will make this work too. It’s long past time I let go of the self doubts. I plan to be a great deal more active here as part of all of that.

I Learned Something While I Was Gone

Still tired and still hitting the blogs later than I’d like to, BUT the followers here deserve a little something for hanging in there this long. 🙂

So, what I have today is a little piece of wisdom for writers. What I learned while I was away, but still rerunning my latest drafts in my head, was that my complete writer’s block almost always comes from not liking the direction the story is going.

It’s my subconscious telling me to stop, look it over, and rethink (rework) what’s happening in the story.

No, nothing I’ve tried to write is anywhere near THAT bad, but the meme was funny. 🙂

Thinking back though, every time I’ve hit a case of writer’s block that’s just seemed absolutely insurmountable, that’s been the case. My subconscious simply wasn’t happy with the quality or direction of my work.

I’m writing about it because that MAY be true for some of you also. Once you realize what the problem is, you can develop a plan top work around it.

Ironically, while working on this post, I came across this YouTube video that largely confirmed my intuition:

The video is only a little over 4 minutes long, but if you don’t want to watch it, here’s the synopsis:

Writer’s block is caused by a need to be perfect (or at least really good), and the cure is to give yourself permission to write garbage, and then let it work itself out in the editing and rewrite phase of your work.

If you’re too OCD as a writer to do that, at least stop, take a step back and ask yourself what’s NOT working with the project. Then STOP and listen to the answer from that little voice in the back of your head. From there, you can figure out what changes to make.

Frustration

NO, not THAT kind, but it got your attention, didn’t it? 😁 I’m trying to keep my sense of humor despite all the nonsense and drama.

Anyhoo, yes I *am* still alive. It is LONG past due I checked in here also. Where’s the frustration, you ask? Primarily from the ongoing drama with our upstairs neighbors. It’s about a month and a half now with no end to the running the dogs back and forth around the apartment at all hours. The racket went on till 5am yesterday. It stopped about 12:30am today, so far (night’s not over after all).

No end to the noise, but we have made enough “noise” of our own that we’ve been given permission to break our lease, and we fully intend to do so. I also fully expect they’ll be ungodly noisy up to the day we’re gone, and beyond.

Enough said there however. I’ve ranted about it all enough lately in the other blog.

There’s more to it all though; a general frustration with life, lack of progress, and a strong dissatisfaction with my writing, and blogs.

Life, general frustrations and lack of progress could turn into a long one, so I’ll save that for another post… perhaps. Writing however…

Let’s start with the blogs. LOTS of frustration there. I work my butt off to network, publish content, etc… While it’s gotten me over 600 followers on the “safe” blog, less that 20 of them are real, active followers who ever read what I publish. It’s frustrating given some of the blogs out there I *do* see getting attention. The networking not paying off is possibly the worst part.

I sort through THOUSANDS of email notifications a month:

Not even a full month’s worth of emails

Post notifications I legitimately read, like, post replies to… Almost nothing to show for it also. Some changes need to be made there. I spend more time chasing emails than I do posting.

THIS blog, on the other hand; a completely different set of problems. Here, I’m actually grateful I’ve got the followers I do. Non-stop real life drama has kept me from doing anything meaningful with my erotica work and I still have 38 followers. Most everyone seems to read posts here sooner or later also.

HERE, the frustration is that life seems to keep screwing with my attempts at a writing career. Every time I start to get traction, I have something like the prick neighbors upstairs completely derail things for me.

There’s also a growing frustration with the quality of my writing also. My “Boobgasms” post I feel was 5 levels beneath where it should have been in all regards. The same is true with all my stories here really; rough draft quality material that I should have polished out much more before posting.

With posts like this, I don’t mind that the writing quality is a hair sloppy and casual. The posts are written with the mindset of talking casually with (or venting to) a friend.

I keep having doubts about the whole “Witchfire” project also. Part of me wants to show that even the worst of the metahuman genre could be much better. A growing part of me is thinking “why am I even giving this misogynist crap the free publicity of good (well, better anyway) storytelling with a new character?”.

Am I just being lazy and depending upon an established world to avoid white room syndrome? My initial justification was not burning through my own characters and ideas, or risking having them stolen. Maybe putting out content that is 100% my own is what I need to grow more as a writer though. “Fan Fiction” (and I’m using an exceedingly broad definition here) can become a crutch for storytelling after all.

The flip side to all of this is that I know I’m exceedingly frustrated on many levels now, and I’m much more prone to rushing into poor choices in that situation. I’m ALSO looking at the existing eleven chapters like a craftsman or artist who turned out something really bad and feels they NEED to re-do it to redeem themselves and prove they could do it right.

Maybe it’s all just part of the normal writing process and I need to just quit getting hung up at that “Dark Night” stage:

Image liberated from https://janeperkins.wordpress.com/ 🙂

Lots to think about moving forward…

Let’s Talk Boobs and Sex!

There’s an attention grabbing headline, LOL

So what has me interested in talking about boobs, you ask? It’s because of my work on my revamped Witchfire erotica series here, AND some past verbal brawls on Twitter.

Twitter is where it all started. Back when I had an account there and had first decided to try to make a go of writing Erotica to sell, I ran into a boatload of opinionated people. On Twitter? Shocking, right? LOL. The most annoying group was a gaggle of busybody would-be erotica authors that constantly trashed others’ writing. Men got it really bad from them.

I did a rant in the ‘safe’ blog about how I thought they were being narrow-minded and losing out on half the population as potential customers. I’ll skip repeating that here. Long story short, I try to write to appeal to both men and women. I also don’t mind missing out on the extreme elements of either gender.

Trying to work up physical descriptions along with unique turn-ons and hot spots for each character in the Witchfire series got me to thinking just how silly so much of adult entertainment, AND some of the debates around it are. It’s not just men who are clueless about boobs, for example. And believe me, 95% of them are… Women are nearly as bad. There are several reports that somewhere between 45% and 55% of Western women are wearing incorrectly sized bras. Many of the articles out there advocating that bras are bad for breast health are written BY WOMEN also.

Just as an FYI; poor fitting bras are bad. Properly fitting ones prevent sagging and tearing of connective tissue holding the breasts to the rib cage.

If you’re a ‘big’ girl, a properly fitting bra can better distribute the twins’ weight across your shoulders and save some major back aches.

Getting back to erotica and porn though… Part of the reason I made Krystal / Witchfire a normal sized gal in a world full of giant boobed superheroines was to put a dent in the “bigger is better” myth. Big boobs certainly have their charms and some of the stereotypes about them are true

Trying to inject a little humor here. 😀

But aside from personal preferences, most of the ideas about big boobs are a myth. Just like all women are unique, boobs are too. Sex drive and performance has NOTHING to do with boob size for starters. It’s simply a societal thing in many parts of the world that a big breasted woman is expected to be more sexual.

As for sensitivity, small boobs are GENERALLY more sensitive because the nerve endings in them are closer together. They’re not spread out over a greater surface area. Breast sensitivity also has alot to do with genetics and how close to the surface those nerve endings end up being. My BFF in high school was a good example there. She was almost as big as the “Epic Boobs” girl above and had crazy sensitive boobs. Some women also are more sensitive on different parts of the breasts. The lower outside quadrant being almost as common as nipples. Again, it all depends on where the nerves ended up thanks to her genetics.

Truth though; almost ANY woman can have the fabled “boobgasm” if their boobs are handled properly. Sadly, porn teaches men to treat boobs like a chew toy or a stress ball. Some girls may like their boobs handled a little more firmly, but nobody likes them mangled. A woman is also far more likely to melt from a light fingertip tracing around her nipple than pinching and pulling it.

And Then There’s Dicks…

Dare we even talk about the giant penis thing in porn also? Talk about a myth! Too big hurts as it’s rammed into the cervix. Don’t believe me? Look at some of that giant wiener porn and see how far the guy actually goes into the girl. Usually only half way. Just like a penis, a vagina varies in size, so every woman is different, and you can’t necessarily judge by how tall she is either.

Truth here, guys? The ideal size for a woman is one that can fill her almost completely when you’re hilted, but stop short of hitting her cervix. So, yes, size DOES matter, but not as much as you think. Technique matters just as much, maybe a little more.

Hot Spots and Foreplay:

Sadly a lost art even in women’s romance novels, nevermind porn itself. Guys, and gals also, you owe it to yourself and your partner to take the time to thoroughly explore their body. Everybody is different, and they will have slightly different sensitivity in each erogenous zone. Each hot spot MAY only respond if touched a certain way also. It’s your job to figure it all out. Learn what makes them tick and how to fully push those buttons.

I can hear the guys out there saying “why bother”, etc…

I’ll tell you why. Because as good as you THINK you are with your cock, enough foreplay before getting started will make her reactions FAR more intense. A woman you’ve taken the time to FULLY satisfy and show you care enough about her needs to take that time, also becomes much more uninhibited sexually. Typically she’ll be eager to show you how much she appreciates it. If not, you probably have the wrong girl.

Instead of treating getting her properly aroused as a waste of time, take it as a challenge to see how turned on you can make her before entering her. Push her buttons. See if you can make her beg (don’t push it if it ain’t her thing!). See if you can get her so turned on that she climaxes as soon as you enter her.

So yeah… Maybe our porn and erotica would be better and have more universal appeal if our sex education and willingness to please our partners on every level was better.

New Character Biographies Posted

I’ve been working on a handful of character biographies for my Witchfire stories. First, I started with Witchfire herself, and cleaned up some of her weaknesses and powers. Subtle but it’s there. I also changed her top back to a corset after finding one in the character builder that I liked, and cleaned up her hair. I liked the idea of wavy hair for her, but the pieces I put together for her last style just didn’t blend together smoothly at all.

The new look is simple, clean and comfortable, although I do still wish I could have gotten a bit of a wavy look to it. The new look follows my belief that keeping things simple is usually better though. Speaking of which; here’s her new costume:

The corset should be easier to get in and out of. Important in naughty stories. 😉

Aside from Witchfire, I did biographies for three characters created at DangerBabeCentral.com (where all this madness started, lol). Witchfire’s girlfriend Amazing Babe has a biography now, and I expanded upon the existing mini-biographies for Mister X’s characters Omega Woman and Battle Sprite.

For Amazing Babe and Omega Woman, I used pictures from DangerBabeCentral to show their costumes, then created some renders for their street clothes and less.

Battle Sprite was a one story character who only appeared for a few panels at DBC. I decided to challenge myself to make her into a more legitimate character. See for yourselves how it worked.

Note also that all the biographies have an intimate details section at the bottom. The measurements are because I write for men and women. The rest is notes for me to help keep each character unique when I get to the kinky parts. Readers can use the info to get a little better understanding of each character.

Tomorrow, since I’m getting close to publishing again, I’ll talk about the concept and goal behind the Witchfire series, and a tiny bit about where it’s going.

Today’s Update

Moving along from the last rant… It didn’t take me nearly as long as I feared to reset the blog to some semblance of it’s past appearance. That much is good.

Seems WP did send an email also, and my suspicions were correct about Themes, Domain Names and Formatting with free vs premium… at least after I did a little digging. Yeah, screw WP. I’ve been mad ever since they blocked access to the blog to blackmail a payment last week.

I’m still debating the look of the site as well… The background pics and header are meant to convey the level of sensuality I want to publish here.

Still, Its scared a few visitors, lol. I can’t help but wonder if I should dial it back (at least a little) for that reason.

I have a new cleaner font for my posts now as well, and I’ve gone to using a larger font size (19 in the editor) to make things a little easier to read. It tends to make the posts look longer than they are, BUT it is easier on the eyes.

The writing progresses as well. The last few days, I’ve been focused on character profiles and plot notes for my revamped Witchfire series. Properly organized, I’m hoping I’ll eliminate the writer’s block I typically struggle with. Some of the notes seem silly on a superficial level; measurements, what hot spots and kinks each character has, etc… Boys love to know which girl has the biggest tits though, and the rest of the information helps keep each character and their scenes unique. Cookie cutter sex is boring after all.

After weeks of spinal decompression treatment for my neck, and ongoing physical therapy at home, I’m finally feeling more like my old self. Heaven knows I’m even more frustrated than my few readers with all the delays and shelved projects.

At any rate, if WP cooperates, I should have a few more biographies and notes posted later today.

Looks like I have some reading to catch up on as well. In between all the spam, I didn’t realize that Cassandra and a couple of the others I follow have been busy writing sexy stuff also. 🙂

Need Some Reader Input

It’s been a while. For those who don’t follow my other blog (the PG rated one), I’ve been battling through some long term spinal issues, and finally got decompression treatments to try to restore my neck and back.

Excuses aside, I have been working on the next chapter in my “Witchfire” series. I’ve been stuck for a while at 8 pages (in Word) into the story though.

I finally had a breakthough and realized the issue. I was unhappy with the pace of the story.

I’m curious what readers here think though… Does the series move too slowly for you? Am I working in too many explanations into conversations instead of just getting to the fights and the kinky stuff?

It’s a tough line to walk; trying to create a real story out of porn, especially when it’s superheroine exploitation themed. If I can turn that into something readable though, I’m ready to write something I can publish

Riddle Me This…

A question (or two) for those who read my stuff and other erotica.

I try to do stories with actual plot in them. My Witchfire serial being a good example. That serial is why I’m asking this question. A chapter takes a long time to do right. Enough that I’m worried about getting discouraged myself or losing readers.

Would you prefer smaller chunks more often, even if some chunks didn’t have sex in them or would you rather wait for a full, longer chapter that has it all?

It’s an easier thing to break up most any other genre into smaller chapters, but people read erotica for the nakedness and orgasms after all.

Witchfire SPOILER! (G Rated)

I’ve been second guessing my decision here all night while answering email and catching up with other blogs. BUT, I know some of my readers are actually waiting for erotica from an erotica blog… Bizarre concept… LOL

Since it has been figuratively forever since I posted anything sexy beyond Witchy’s costume pics, I’m going to give out a very general plot spoiler for what’s upcoming. Who knows? Maybe it’ll even drum up some excitement about the serial. 😀

In the most general terms, the reboot plot will be this: The time travel will be completely accidental, and occur as the result of collateral damage during a battle. Witchfire and ComixFana’s character Sully will be sent back in time to the moment Witchfire was first sent to the Delta City reality. They will NOT have an easy go of it however, as a couple of villains will also be sent back in time accidentally.

The net result will be that we will have heroes and villains both with advance knowledge of the next few months of the future. Both will be determined to change things to their own liking and derail the other side’s efforts as well.

At first, each side will think they have it made. Both will have to contend with the other’s efforts. Both will find out that things aren’t as easy as they’d hoped either way. Even when they get what they want from an event, it may not end up with the result they predicted. They may just find out also that despite their best efforts, that the universe has a way of seeking a balance.

Balance or no, nothing will be the same again as heroes and villains race to shape the future.

Witchfire, originally viewed as an insignificant oddity, will now be known by the villains to be a legitimate threat to their plans thanks to the information from their time travelers. Deanna Troi’s character Nancy Peye will also be in increased danger as things move forward.