FINALLY… I got the new Silk Cords website launched this morning! It still needs some fleshing out and polishing in a few spots. I got several posts transferred over and re-written in some cases though. I even managed to set up an age gate and get a plug-in that allows me to stay compliant with all the Euro cookie rules.
As promised in an earlier post, I’ve kept the adult content completely segregated from the normal content, and intend to make sure any blog posts and notifications stay completely PG rated. There will be plenty of Erotica and talk about Sex though, along with the return of my Witchfire erotica series.
THAT was actually what caused the delay in launching. All these bright new features for WordPress are completely geared around everything on your blog being a post. The only way around that is a pretty solid knowledge of CSS code. The site will evolve as I learn there. Right now, it’s still pretty freaking awesome. How awesome?
It’ll hit you like Mjolnir:
I’m still trying to figure out how much WordPress.org ties into WordPress.com. Thus far, it seems awkward at best. All stuff to work out.
No, I didn’t bury the lead either. I’m just building anticipation.
It’s been a few days, so It’s past due time I checked in here. I’ve been hard at work on the new WordPress.org self hosted site. It’s getting close to finished at this point, but there are still some behind the scenes things that need to be polished and tweaked. Soon though… 🙂
Thinking over the site, and past experience here, I’ve decided that the new blog is going to focus entirely on writing. Absolutely no more social issues, political talk, personal drama (nobody cares), product reviews or even cooking posts. Just everything writing:
Vanilla Creative Writing; nothing over PG-13
Reviews of “How To” products on writing (books, videos, websites, etc..)
Critiques of movies and TV shows from a writer’s perspective; what works and what doesn’t
Erotica
Erotica and anything “Adult” related will be in a separate section of the blog, and will be behind an age verification pop-up. I’m going to do a better job than I did with this blog in terms of keeping anything NSFW behind that age check. That means NO racy pictures or backgrounds in the primary section of the blog.
Creative writing of all flavors will have separate pages, and the blog posts announcing new stories will only have links to those pages with a note regarding whether it’s NSFW or not.
Realizations
Part of the process with the new blog has been moving some of my more relevant past posts and existing stories from the two old blogs to the new. I want to rewrite damned near everything also, and already have in a couple of cases. I noticed something though as I went back through my lists of pages and posts.
I jumped around WAY too much on the focus of each blog. With the actual creative writing, it was self doubt and too much real life drama killing my mojo. The stuff I tried to do as filler too often took over though. Not only that, I jumped from idea to idea as I tried to keep things fresh and attract new readers. Even when I tried to have a structured theme for daily posts I flopped. I just need to focus on the writing and stay consistent. THAT is my pledge with the new blog.
AND that I’ll also be upping my game across the board. No more holding back on my writing.
In Other News:
This isn’t the new blog, so I can sneak in one or two QUICK personal updates here.
First, the house that we got defrauded on is back on the market, at $50,000 higher than we bought it for. All the mortgage company or listing agents did was the most basic of house flipper cosmetic repairs to hide the defects (patching the cracked mortar, fresh paint, clean the carpets, etc…). It pisses me off that somebody else is going to be put in a likely world of financial trouble as well living in a toxic house. I have precious little idea what I can do to correct the situation though. The laws in Georgia are completely corrupt and promote screwing the buyer. I could get sued for tortious interference with a contract with most options or charged with trespassing if I put up signs, try to talk to people during open houses, etc…
Most people nowadays would sadly be content to sit back and let things unfold, especially if it meant the house would sell for enough money to put them in the clear. This level of injustice literally makes my skin crawl though. Likewise, it’s not right to be made whole at the expense of an innocent party.
And lastly, I *MAY* have a new job; a real one for the first time in a decade. I had the realtor job for a while during that time, but between my health and lack of money, I was never able to really make a run of it. I’m in the final phase of the hiring process. All that remains to be seen is if they will accept the fact that I’m a virtual blank. No social media presence, no credit history now thanks to following the Dave Ramsey plan, and really no recent job history as well.
I’m just glad that the spinal decompression and physical therapy got me to the point I can work again. The prospect of being a contributing member of society has been a huge morale boost.
It’s been a few days since the last post, announcing my intention to switch platforms to the self-hosted version of WordPress.
I just wanted to let folks know I’m still around and that the update is taking a little longer than anticipated. The full site block(head) editor is a PITA. Promise the new site will be worth it though.
I plan on having both “regular” and adult areas to the new blog, and I’m looking forward to seeing you all there in the near future. 🙂
WordPress.com anyway. 🙂 The high prices for subscription packages are unreal, and the battling with the limited editor options is annoying as well. There’s only one answer:
Yep, that’s right: Tear it all down…
And rebuild it at WordPress.org
I decided to pay for the hosting elsewhere and go with WordPress.org instead.
It took a good while, but I bundled up and exported everything from this site to the new one. Unfortunately, preserving appearance settings didn’t work so well. The site is a definite work in progress. I’m planning on making the new version something special though.
It will likely be a couple days before the new site is ready. I have plans most of the day tomorrow. This project is going to take some real work as well.
Once it’s done, I’ll give post the new URL for everyone.
The last couple of years have been hellish, to say the least. On top of everything else I wrote about, we got defrauded on a home purchase, lost our life savings, got cheated by the lawyer we hired to help us, got severe COVID, and dealt with a dozen other lesser issues. I even injured my back with the rowing machine that I highlighted in a previous post.
Setting this blog aside has happened more than once already.
I’m grateful that by some miracle I still have all my followers. In a bit of irony, this blog got more views during my absence than my “main” blog did. Over twice as much for more than 15 months straight! Obviously I chose the wrong blog to step away from. As I’ve said on past posts however, it’s HARD (no pun intended for a change) to write anything remotely sexy when your world is falling apart.
I can’t say that I’m in an ideal situation at present. SOME things have improved. Some, such as the house, continue to dangle over our heads like the Sword of Damocles.
What II can promise my readers is that I’m mentally in a much better place than I have been in many years. I somehow in the midst of all the disaster regained my center. Everything just fell into place and I’m more focused.
Plans for the Blog:
First, I plan on returning to writing. Everything from a reboot of my Witchfire series to more “conventional” erotica. I think I’m FINALLY at a point where my former self-doubt is no longer killing my ability to write erotica. I’ve spent some time studying up on writing as well, so as to get myself to a higher level than my previous posts and stories.
For you kids who don’t recognize it, that’s called a notebook… and a pen. 😀
I’ve spent time sorting through quite a bit of trash writing advice and found some really good stuff as well, so on top of my usual stories, I’m planning on doing some reviews in the hopes of helping other authors find quality advice. Hint:MasterCass.com’s writing classes are amazing. I will be reviewing far more than those however.
I also want to throw in some reviews of TV shows, movies, etc… from a writer’s POV and point out areas where I feel they made mistakes.
I’ll also be writing the occasional sex advice article like my previous one on boobgasms. I’m by NO means the absolute expert, but it SEEMS like bad ideas about sex are growing even faster nowadays than the hostile political climate.
I’m also going to be shutting down the other blog. It’s always been a distraction to my writing ambitions. I did nothing but cater to my audience and beg for followers. I’d prefer to focus my efforts here.
Eventually, I plan on hopping the blog over to paid hosting and switching to WordPress.org as well. More options, fewer restrictions, and I’m all but sure I can get a simple yes or no age gate to help reduce the potential for drama and let me get away with a few racy pictures. 😉
Yes, I’m back. Real life had gotten kind of hectic. Some of that is detailed in the other, vanilla blog. That specific link will take you to my most recent post there, where I complain about feeling I can’t be myself or say what I want as a blogger. Read it if you want, if Not I understand. Be forewarned though; it is a classic redhead rant, lol.
What I’d like to dialog here about though is a calmer continuation of that whole mess as relates to sexy blogging. I have two main stumbling blocks when it comes to posting here or getting anything “adult” written.
First, as I mentioned in the other blog, there’s the worry of being judged and labeled. Doesn’t matter who you are, if you deal with erotica and similar topics, you’re either a whore or a male pig. You’d think being a redhead, I wouldn’t give a F what others think, BUT like most stereotypes, that’s all it really is. I have a fairly strong spiritual side and am an honest to goodness empath too. That last part in particular makes it hard to tune out the crap sometimes.
Second is a problem even “regular” writers face; I have to REALLY be inspired to write. In the case of erotica, that’s in the mood and able to visualize the scene almost enough that I could almost see it as I’m writing.
That second part is the bigger stumbling block by far. Those of you out there who actually find the creativity to turn out high quality stuff regularly, I’m truly jealous of.
So who has any advice? How do you turn off the worry and find inspiration? I’ve had several ideas for ages, I just haven’t been able to get them off the ground.
This one is going to get a bit new-agey, so just hang in there. I promise it’ll be interesting regardless. First, let’s start with a little honesty, both with myself and you all:
Yes, life has been a seemingly never ending series of small train wrecks the last few years (and before that, lol), BUT, even as frustrating as multiple moves, dogs barking and stampeding, etc… have been… The real reason I’ve done so little here is self-doubt. My sexual past is… complicated also.
Only Arrowverse fans will get it, but… LOLOL
Anything sexual is both complicated and draining for an Empath also. Even just creative writing about it tends to pull on or out a great deal of emotional energy. That MAY be something for another post however. It would take time to discuss properly.
LONG story short, I’ve spent a great deal of time the last few weeks reflecting on whether or not writing, erotica in particular, was something that I was truly ready to pursue… or if maybe I should focus on more mundane pursuits. Not coming to any real conclusions on my own, I turned to the tarot card reading software I have to see if I could get a little insight.
As a Side Note, I know what a few of you MAY be thinking; “Get a reading from a piece of software?!?” Well, I actually DO have a real deck, but I’m still learning to read it. More importantly, whether you’re using physical cards or software, it’s just your subconscious mind / higher self trying to communicate with you. With the software, you pick the cards, the software places them, and tell you their base meaning, and how being inverted and or it’s position with other cards effects it’s meaning. Once the cards are all read, the software leaves you to interpret how it all comes together to answer your question. Again, because it’s all really about getting an answer from your subconscious, it’s been surprisingly accurate for me every time I’ve used it.
With that clarification, I’m going to post the “reading” I did on becoming an author:
Cards from the Celtic Dragon Tarot deck; the style of deck I own.
Summary (Career Reading)
QUESTION: How Successful Will I Be as a Writer?
First card: The first card describes the past. It can also signify past factors such as study or work experience.
(1) YOU GOT: The World. This card is about joy of the senses, the cosmic origin of life, love and happiness. This card is well-dignified (100%), this means that its neighbor cards strengthen it. Meanings: Well-dignified it signifies success, a favorable issue to the circumstances. Sometimes change of place.
Second card: The second card describes the present situation. It’s the current state of the subject’s career.
(2) YOU GOT: Five of Staves. This card is about persuasion, hot speech, demonstration of love or desire and egotism. Meanings: Power, and pleasure in exercising it; adventure, speculation, and uncertainty; strong attachments. This card is well-dignified (100%), this means: Boldness, command, generosity.
Third card: The third card describes the positives, the ‘pros’.
(3) YOU GOT: Knight of Swords. This card is about a military man, painful memories, distress in the family and war. Meanings: A youngish man, with some talent for governing, rather materialistic, though with some artistic appreciation, active, clever, fond of travel, dexterous, and skillful in management. This card is well-dignified (100%), this means: Favorable to the enterprises of the Querent.
Fourth card: The fourth card describes the negatives, the ‘cons’.
(4) YOU GOT: Seven of Cups. This card is about thoughts, ideas, intelligence, plans and imagination. This card is well-dignified (100%), this means that its neighbor cards strengthen it. Meanings: Possible victory, but the person to whom the card applies may be too indolent to take advantage of his opportunities for commanding circumstance; success may be gained, but not followed up; necessity for choosing the highest possible objectives.
Fifth card: The fifth card describes the influence of colleagues, management and others with whom the subject has professional dealings.
(5) YOU GOT: The Lovers. This card is about sensuality and human love. This card is well-dignified (100%), this means that its neighbor cards strengthen it. Meanings: Attraction, beauty, love, sympathy. Balance of forces, and reciprocal activity. Particularly, agreement in things of the mind, symbolized by the six-pointed star, or hexagram. It is a card of harmony between the inner and outer life.
Sixth card: The sixth card describes the best path to take in order to further the subject’s best interest in the matter.
(6) YOU GOT: Nine of Swords. This card is about dogmatism, ritual, ecclesiastic spirit and hard judgment. This card is well-dignified (100%), this means that its neighbor cards strengthen it. Meanings: Faithfulness, obedience, unselfishness, patience; fortunate news about legal affairs or partnerships, especially if the outcome has been delayed or in doubt; aid or gain through relatives, short journeys, or writings, but not until the Querent has passed through a period of more or less uncertainty and worry; ultimate good fortune resulting from a series of events which present unfavorable appearances at first.
Seventh card: The seventh card describes the outcome. It indicates the final result if the path shown is followed.
(7) YOU GOT: Two of Swords. This card is about magnetic attraction, intimacy, affection and sensuality. This card is well-dignified (100%), this means that its neighbor cards strengthen it. Meanings: Contradictory characters in the same nature: strength through suffering; pleasure after pain. Delay in the realization of objectives. It intimates a period of uncertainty, in which the Querent, through he has a sense of adequate power, does not know just what to do with it. Justice, unselfishness, and the restoration of peace.
MY (Short) Take On It:
The first card; The World meant that my past work, while needing improvement, is better than I’ve given myself credit for, and is an indication that I have ability. The second card; 5 of Staves, is along the same lines. It means I’ve got the ability and need to put it to use. The third card; Knight of Swords, means I have the organizational skills to handle the choice. The fourth card; Seven of Cups, means I’ll have to be dedicated to the work and improving my craft if I want to succeed. The fifth card; The Lovers, I’m *guessing* means I’ll have some support in the effort. As for the sixth card; The 9 of Swords, it means the best path is hard work, serious effort at growth, and releasing the self doubt. The seventh card; the 2 of Swords (interesting that so many of the minor arcana cards were Swords… means it’ll be a struggle at first, but if I keep at it, I’ll be successful.
All in all, I’d say it was a very positive reading.
A few hints in the above reading indicated that erotica was indeed in the cards for me, (pun always intended, lol). None the less, I did separate readings on both of those with similar results. The main difference being that the readings indicated that they would both be tools to help me find increased peace with that part of my nature. They’d both be growth tools in their own unique ways.
Wrapping it Up:
I’ve overcome a great deal the last few months. I even got my neck and back returned to a (somewhat) functional state and am continuing to work hard there. I can and will make this work too. It’s long past time I let go of the self doubts. I plan to be a great deal more active here as part of all of that.
Yes, I still like my vague titles, lol. Keeps people curious. This is also a repost from my PG rated “main” blog but it lets folks know where I’ve been. All the embedded links go back to posts at the other blog also.
OK, so I had hoped to be back here (and at my other blog) writing again sooner, but things have been busy. There’s alot of little chores with a house this old and a fairly sizable yard. We’re also still sorting and tossing things in an effort to trim back and simplify.
On top of that, I’ve been working HARD at one of my New Year’s resolutions… You know, that one that EVERYBODY makes:
I’m Going to Get In Shape!!!
THIS has been my torture device of choice:
It’s a rowing machine with water based resistance. LONG story short, we decided months back that when we moved we were going to get one more exercise machine to go with our stationary bike. I thought long and hard about it, and pushed for a rowing machine because it works so many muscle groups at once.
It also works your back and shoulders. I even feel it in my forearms. Rowing around on a lake (in an inflatable boat) was how I first got in shape in my younger days, and it’s a habit I still enjoy, so this was a natural choice to me.
I still have yet to get a certain lazy spouse on it however. >_<
For those of you who have been slacking on your fitness… Let me tell yah; you don’t realize how badly you can go downhill before you truly feel it. I knew I was out of shape thanks to my back and neck keeping me sedentary for 8 or so years. I walked, I did things around the house, so I assumed I wasn’t THAT bad off.
The first time I got on the rower, I could only do fifty reps. NOT good, since the rower pretty much provides the same moderate level of resistance as real rowing.
I’ve busted my butt however, and am determined to NEVER go back to that condition I was in before decompression therapy. In roughly three weeks, I’ve gone from 50 reps to 1000 yesterday. Some of my improvement was probably just the exercise working fatigue poisons and other toxins out of my system. I know I’m feeling mentally and physically better, even if pushing hard leaves me wiped out afterwards.
I’ve also lost 10 pounds, and I am determined to keep that up also.
The Best Diet Advice I Ever Got:
Was something so simple that most people wouldn’t believe it works; just SLOW DOWN and enjoy your food. Take your time, thoroughly chew it, actually make conversation with people while you eat, etc… The ideas being that first, it takes 15 minutes for your stomach to tell your brain it’s had enough, no matter how much food you scarf down. So yes, closely related to that, it’s also better for your digestive system.
The hidden benefit to it though is that you AND your body will quickly figure out what’s truly good food. I was skeptical on this one and actually tested the idea on a McDonald’s Egg McMuffin one day. I used to love the things. Slowing down and chewing it though… truly giving myself time to sample the flavors… The sausage is REALLY disgusting, and the muffin and cheese aren’t much better.
Some of you may have had similar experiences with other foods. Little Ceasar’s pizza for example; it actually tastes good if it’s hot and you don’t truly take your time. Let it cool off even a little though… Yuck! Even if you eat it quickly.
If you want to read more about the whole concept, there’s a book called “The Slow Down Diet” that goes into more details, but I’ve given you most of the highlights here.
Make just that one simple change in your eating routine and see how much changes in your life.
The Ongoing Neck and Back War:
Speaking of the neck and back… Moving REALLY took a toll on both of them, given how rushed everything was. My worthless ProNex therapy tool broke on me also:
The damned thing tore in half at the narrow center section of the top piece, just from normal use. Talk about cheap! I mean I knew it was foam rubber, but still…
Pronex doesn’t stand by their products either, even if brand new. Needless to say, I’m changing my review to zero stars, wouldn’t recommend. After some meticulous research, I came across an alternative:
Only $50 more than the Pronex, but it’s solid construction, not low grade foam rubber.
Not me, LOL. An Amazon store page pic
It worked so well that we bought the lower back unit made by ComfortTrac also:
Another Amazon store page pic
With my bad back and the auto accident my other half suffered in the Subaru, this unit has been a godsend for both of us. Chiropractic treatment never did anything long term for my back, but this is helping tremendously.
Neither unit is QUITE as good as full blown professional decompression treatment, BUT with common sense and regular use, they come VERY VERY close, for a good deal less. My previous decompression treatments ran almost $4000, and the moving undid a large portion of that. These two units had a combined cost of roughly $1000 on Amazon. That’s still ALOT of money, but we’re both benefiting from them, and it’s cheaper than professional treatment, and FAR FAR cheaper than surgery.
If there’s enough interest, I’ll do a more in-depth review on both. For now, suffice it to say they’re a large part of why I’ve been able to push myself so hard, and will help guarantee I never go back to that broken down state EVER again.
Oh yes… Remember that recurve bow I bought also? Well, readers of THIS blog won’t but…
Well, I finally got it out and started shooting also. The weather has provided limited opportunities there, but I finally got out the other day and shot a few flights. This was at about 30 feet of distance BTW. Not too impressive. My first volley was a bit of a mess also, LOL:
I hit the target with all 3 arrows though! I consider that fairly good since it was the first time I’d shot a bow since 1987 or 88. There was no nock point (a little piece of brass wrapped around the string) on the bow string, no sights, and the tab (finger guard) I was using on my drawing hand was incredibly sloppy.
Another Amazon store pic to show what a tab looks like. Somebody chews their nails, lol.
I have to replace it with a shooting glove for sure.
BUT, I shot bare bow for the first time in 33 years and out of 50 arrows at between 30 and 35 feet, I only missed the target 3 times. By the last flight of arrows, my accuracy had improved too:
I even put one nearly dead center!
Funny… I was worried that a 40 pound draw weight on the bow might be a hair too much. It’s actually proving to be just about right for me, and is giving my arms a little extra workout also.
I’ve forgotten some of the technique I was taught back in college, but it’s amazing how I could pick up on what I was physically doing wrong with my shots; primarily being too tense, and sometimes not just simply releasing the bow string.
For those who have never shot a bow, the ideal release technique is to just simply let the fingers holding the bow string go limp. It prevents an accidental jerk of the string sideways, which will make your shot go wide. That can happen if you try to force your hand to release the string, or outright jerk your hand away.
ANYWAY… I need some practice for sure, but it wasn’t bad for a first outing.
I’ve also taken a few preliminary steps towards brushing up on my Kenpo and Wing Chun. That’s a story for another time however.
Five MAVO Points to anyone who can tell me what that last picture is though… WITHOUT an internet search.
Still tired and still hitting the blogs later than I’d like to, BUT the followers here deserve a little something for hanging in there this long. 🙂
So, what I have today is a little piece of wisdom for writers. What I learned while I was away, but still rerunning my latest drafts in my head, was that my complete writer’s block almost always comes from not liking the direction the story is going.
It’s my subconscious telling me to stop, look it over, and rethink (rework) what’s happening in the story.
No, nothing I’ve tried to write is anywhere near THAT bad, but the meme was funny. 🙂
Thinking back though, every time I’ve hit a case of writer’s block that’s just seemed absolutely insurmountable, that’s been the case. My subconscious simply wasn’t happy with the quality or direction of my work.
I’m writing about it because that MAY be true for some of you also. Once you realize what the problem is, you can develop a plan top work around it.
Ironically, while working on this post, I came across this YouTube video that largely confirmed my intuition:
The video is only a little over 4 minutes long, but if you don’t want to watch it, here’s the synopsis:
Writer’s block is caused by a need to be perfect (or at least really good), and the cure is to give yourself permission to write garbage, and then let it work itself out in the editing and rewrite phase of your work.
If you’re too OCD as a writer to do that, at least stop, take a step back and ask yourself what’s NOT working with the project. Then STOP and listen to the answer from that little voice in the back of your head. From there, you can figure out what changes to make.
NO, not THAT kind, but it got your attention, didn’t it? 😁 I’m trying to keep my sense of humor despite all the nonsense and drama.
Anyhoo, yes I *am* still alive. It is LONG past due I checked in here also. Where’s the frustration, you ask? Primarily from the ongoing drama with our upstairs neighbors. It’s about a month and a half now with no end to the running the dogs back and forth around the apartment at all hours. The racket went on till 5am yesterday. It stopped about 12:30am today, so far (night’s not over after all).
No end to the noise, but we have made enough “noise” of our own that we’ve been given permission to break our lease, and we fully intend to do so. I also fully expect they’ll be ungodly noisy up to the day we’re gone, and beyond.
Enough said there however. I’ve ranted about it all enough lately in the other blog.
There’s more to it all though; a general frustration with life, lack of progress, and a strong dissatisfaction with my writing, and blogs.
Life, general frustrations and lack of progress could turn into a long one, so I’ll save that for another post… perhaps. Writing however…
Let’s start with the blogs. LOTS of frustration there. I work my butt off to network, publish content, etc… While it’s gotten me over 600 followers on the “safe” blog, less that 20 of them are real, active followers who ever read what I publish. It’s frustrating given some of the blogs out there I *do* see getting attention. The networking not paying off is possibly the worst part.
I sort through THOUSANDS of email notifications a month:
Not even a full month’s worth of emails
Post notifications I legitimately read, like, post replies to… Almost nothing to show for it also. Some changes need to be made there. I spend more time chasing emails than I do posting.
THIS blog, on the other hand; a completely different set of problems. Here, I’m actually grateful I’ve got the followers I do. Non-stop real life drama has kept me from doing anything meaningful with my erotica work and I still have 38 followers. Most everyone seems to read posts here sooner or later also.
HERE, the frustration is that life seems to keep screwing with my attempts at a writing career. Every time I start to get traction, I have something like the prick neighbors upstairs completely derail things for me.
There’s also a growing frustration with the quality of my writing also. My “Boobgasms” post I feel was 5 levels beneath where it should have been in all regards. The same is true with all my stories here really; rough draft quality material that I should have polished out much more before posting.
With posts like this, I don’t mind that the writing quality is a hair sloppy and casual. The posts are written with the mindset of talking casually with (or venting to) a friend.
I keep having doubts about the whole “Witchfire” project also. Part of me wants to show that even the worst of the metahuman genre could be much better. A growing part of me is thinking “why am I even giving this misogynist crap the free publicity of good (well, better anyway) storytelling with a new character?”.
Am I just being lazy and depending upon an established world to avoid white room syndrome? My initial justification was not burning through my own characters and ideas, or risking having them stolen. Maybe putting out content that is 100% my own is what I need to grow more as a writer though. “Fan Fiction” (and I’m using an exceedingly broad definition here) can become a crutch for storytelling after all.
The flip side to all of this is that I know I’m exceedingly frustrated on many levels now, and I’m much more prone to rushing into poor choices in that situation. I’m ALSO looking at the existing eleven chapters like a craftsman or artist who turned out something really bad and feels they NEED to re-do it to redeem themselves and prove they could do it right.
Maybe it’s all just part of the normal writing process and I need to just quit getting hung up at that “Dark Night” stage:
Silk's Erotica 